02
Apr
12

Romney and the Paul Ryan bump

Things are beginning to look pretty good for Mitt Romney.  He garnered a slew of endorsements from notable Republicans last week, and he currently leads the polls for the upcoming Wisconsin primary. Most notably, House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan announced his support last Friday.

“Who is Paul Ryan?” you ask, “And why should I care that he’s endorsing Mitt Romney?”  I’m going to simultaneously answer those questions and complete my blog assignment in the following space:

Ok, I got nothing, time to make stuff up.

…I don’t know about you, but I don’t trust this Ryan guy.  For one thing, he has a “firsty-firsty:” a first name (Ryan) in place of a typical last name.  Men with firsty-firsty’s generally harbor resent and bitterness for their silly sounding names, and are veiwed as less trustworthy than those with lasty-lasty’s (Harrison Ford = trustworthy).

And everyone thought Richard Kimble killed his wife...

Also, he’s got this weird, man-boy look to him (George Stephanopoul-itis).  Basically, he’s a 42-year-old man that looks like he’d have trouble getting past the bouncer at a strip club.  Men with unusually youthful features are also not to be trusted (E.g. Macauley Culkin, who strangely enough has a lasty-lasty, which, according to my previous paragraph, would make him trustworthy.  Figure that one out for yourself.)

That makes about as much sense as Ryan's budget proposal. Zing!

At this point, frequent readers of my blog (if those exist) may have noticed my political commentaries have degraded to a bunch of made up nonsense, much like the politics our current Congress is engaged in.  Zing again!

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