12
Apr
12

Santorum out, Romney ponders running mate

Rick Santorum is ending his presidential bid because of the recent health troubles of his 3-year-old daughter, Bella.  This fact is making it really hard for me to make fun of Santorum at this time, so on to Mitt Romney.

Congratulations Mitt, you millionaire, Harvard grad and former governor with a “severely conservative” streak.  With Santorum out, every pundit and political analyst in American has put the Republican nomination in your front pocket.  Now it’s time to pick a running mate and take on Obama.

Which really leaves me with little to say.  Gone are the chaotic primary results and daily campaign gaffes that we saw earlier in the year.  Now, as one blogger puts it, “we’re doomed to spend the next four and a half months speculating about Romney’s vice-presidential choice.”  Bummer.

Watching Romney make his VP choice will say a lot about the campaign he wishes to go into November with.  Take, for instance, John McCain’s pick of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin.  McCain tried not to come off as such an ancient living organism by picking the young and vibrant Palin as his vice president.  Little did he and the rest of the nation know that most people living in the mountains of Alaska are painfully out of touch with American politics (and reality).

Note: This image has not been Photoshopped.

And then there was George McGovern, a guy with a decent shot at defeating Nixon in 1972 until it was leaked that his chosen running mate, Thomas Eagleton, had received electroshock therapy in the past to fight depression.  The news of McGovern’s whack-job side kick ran his presidential campaign into the ground.

"Boy, I could really use some kilowatts right about now."

I don’t particularly care if Romney’s campaign goes up in smoke or not, but his recent success is making this whole joke thing difficult for me.  So, please Mitt, make this race entertaining again and pick some nutty maniac as your running mate.

On second thought, it's never too soon for a good Santorum joke.

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