17
Apr
12

Mitt Romney speaks to Diane Sawyer on wealth, campaign

Mitt Romney, fresh off his domination of Rick Santorum and ready to flex his chops as  the de facto Republican nominee, conducted an interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer today.  When Sawyer asked Romney if he’s “too rich to relate” to the American public, he responded in his usual concise fashion:  “You know, we don’t divide America CLANK based on CLANK success or CLANK wealth or CLANK CLANKITY CLANK….”

Sorry, Mitt, I can’t hear you over all those gold bars rattling around in your pocket.  Just come out and say it, Mitt.  You’re filthy rich!

But seriously, when did being rich become such a stigma in this country?  Isn’t that a part of the American Dream, that everyone has the opportunity to become dirty, filthy, stinkin’ rich?

I mean, I’ve actually been reading news headlines that say “Goldman Sachs CEO gets $16.1” and “Wal-Mart CEO Receives $18.1.”  Why is that news?  Some rich guy’s getting richer – big deal, it’s his job.  And I don’t think the whole Occupy Wall Street movement is doing anything to solve our country’s income inequality.  Protesting a CEO for making tons of money is like protesting a mechanic for fixing a car. Plus, who cares what a bunch of smelly hipsters have to say anyway.

"Forget money. I'd rather just, you know, be authentic and ride bikes and stuff." "Yeah, let's get lattes then ride down to the protests then blah blah blahhhh...."

I can’t even remember through all my rage what the original point of this blog was going to be… so whatever.  Kudos to you, Mitt Romney.  Even if you don’t become president, you’re still rich as balls and have a nice, thick head of hair.

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3 Responses to “Mitt Romney speaks to Diane Sawyer on wealth, campaign”


  1. April 17, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    I always enjoy your political updates. It puts a nice, satirical spin on the subject. For once, hearing about politics hasn’t put me to sleep.

  2. April 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I wonder if he swims in his money?


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