Why Wealthy, Politically Active CEO’s Piss Me Off (A lot)

I’ve done some serious thinking lately and concluded that my life sucks. Not in a “I was born with elephantitis on my face” type of way, or even in a “half my family died in a tsunami and the other half became mutant freaks in a nuclear meltdown” kind of way, either. No, my life sucks in a uniquely American way, a suckiness that, in reality, doesn’t suck that badly at all. But I’ve been following the presidential election, and it always seems to reaffirm how much my life sucks. Allow me to explain:

Today I read that wealthy industrialist brothers David and Charles Koch sent letters to each of their 45,000 employees urging them to vote for Mitt Romney, because if Obama is reelected, “many of our more than 50,000 employees and contractors may suffer the consequences.” And in a similar yet even more blunt letter to his employees, real estate tycoon David Siegel stated that four more years of Obama and his proposed taxes would leave him “no choice but to reduce the size of this company,” prompting him to retire to “the Carribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree.”

“…and then I’ll slither up the walls of my lair, to a nest where an army of reptilian CEO-men are incubating in their shells, waiting to be unleashed upon humanity!”

Now I’m not going to argue taxes because I don’t know shit about them. For all I know, these guys are probably right. I simply have a beef with how they went about making their point. Moaning to their employees and taking them hostage by sending passive-aggressive memos about how they should vote for the candidates their CEO’s conveniently donated millions of dollars to. Why should I feel bad for these guys because they might have to make tough economic decisions regarding taxes and other government policies?

Let’s use me as an example. Absorb the following information with every hole in your face: I made $11,100 last year. That’s it. I am, by every definition of the word, living in poverty. If you look at the numbers, my life sucks! It sucks fantastically! I pay $380 each month for rent. Do the math! I won’t because if I see the actual numbers, I might kill myself.

Or I may pitch my life as a reality show to TLC. That seems to work, too.

But in reality, my life isn’t all that bad. I have a decent apartment, I can afford food, I have nice clothing and access to internet porn – things are fine. Money is tight and taxes don’t help, but I don’t threaten to lay off all my employees as a result. If anything, I should have the right to complain when taxes ruin my future budgetary plans, not those guys.

Griping about taxes is understandable, but holding your employees accountable for it because of their political views is not. What a petty way of collecting a few thousand extra votes, by offering your employees a rather ominous ultimatum? Maybe these CEO’s should try to look at life the way their employees do. To me, the incessant bitching of the Koch brothers and Siegel makes the outright corruption of guys like Boss Tweed look noble.


5 Responses to “Why Wealthy, Politically Active CEO’s Piss Me Off (A lot)”

  1. October 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    This made we want to laugh and cry at the same time. Good post.

  2. 4 The Happiest Dude on the Web
    October 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Burn it all down.

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