Posts Tagged ‘photos

10
Oct
12

You Don’t Know Jack

Today, some friends and I made a trip to Jacks Mountain, about 20 minutes from Lewistown, Pa. The mountain is known by hikers for having 1000 stone steps that snake to the top. Being the consummate blogger that I am, I brought a camera along and snapped some photos.

Obligatory nature photo – check.

OK, screw that. I try to keep this blog humorous or comedy related as much as possible (even if that means being hilariously bad). And it appears that this hike has already been tackled by a fellow WordPresser. So forget the nature crap. Instead, here are some Jacks Mountain related jokes I thought of while marching up a thousand damn steps:

  • Q: If Jack and Jill went up the hill together, then why is it named after Jack? A: Because he’s a man.
  • All steps and no play makes Jacks Mountain a dull hike.
  • You don’t know Jacks Mountain!

It’s fascinating what a little strenuous activity combined with dehydration can do to your mind. But I’m all out of jokes so here’s the rest of the pics:

Cool guys doing cool things.

And lastly, some tasteful graffiti for all you city folk.

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03
May
12

Joshin’ around with Adobe Illustrator

This is the first picture I made with Adobe Illustrator.  I enjoyed using it more than Photoshop.  I feel like the tools were easier to use and navigate through.  Also, the autocorrect thingy that made all my lines elegant and beautiful was pretty helpful.  Cats are nice so I tried drawing one.  I used the charcoal brush on the cat then a sharper edged brush for the weeds.  I was halfway through when I realized the picture is centered kinda funny and also that the cat looks more like a dog or fox.

Cat or dog? Or fox? Who the hell cares??

Next, I tried using Illustrator to animate some 3D text.  This part sucked.  The directions were wordy and confusing.  Each letter took me like a half hour to complete – I found myself using the undo button often.  Then I had to worry about where the light source was and how the shading appears.  I was planning on creating a cool logo for the words “Beer Noodles,” but I got pissed/bored halfway through and quit.

Use your imagination to visualize how half-assed “Noodles” would have looked.

19
Apr
12

Great product ideas

I’m guessing there aren’t too many wealthy entrepreneurs with tons of start-up money reading my blog.  But if there is, my roomate and I came up with some new product ideas – just send me $1000 in cash and the ideas are yours.

Ok.  Who’s sick of seeing bumper stickers like this:

I know I am.  So how about a bumper sticker for the pessimist!  Introducing “I Don’t Heart Bumper Stickers.”

And how about a house warming gift that could liven up any back porch or patio.  The new “Wind Chime Kazoo!”

I know these ideas suck. Fuck you.

12
Apr
12

Photoshop Images

Here’s a weird thing I made for my web design class.

Notice the tiny Willem Dafoe.  Here’s some of my inspiration:

Here’s another poster thingy I made.  I thought “The Flaming Brain” would be a good name for a blog or website or something.

03
Apr
12

Blog assignment #4

For the first part of the assignment, here is an image I created with Photoshop:

I took a picture of an Arnold Schwartzenegger action figure from Google.  I tried the art history brush just to see what it would do.  Then boom, this was the outcome.  This image took literally 5 minutes to make but I think the end result looks pretty cool.  Here’s the same image again with some tweaks:

Here’s another photo I messed with:

For the second part of this assignment, here are some of my favorite artists.  Anyone who skateboards may be familiar with Neckface.  He has done artwork for Baker Skateboards and also a bunch of graffiti around the U.S.

Here’s art from Basquiat, an artist that got his start doing graffiti in Brooklyn.  He died in the 80’s from a heroin overdose.

And let’s not forget Ralph Steadman:

There’s a scene from an old South Park episode where Cartman is asked to describe what he sees when his eyes are closed.  He is blindfolded, and the next scene becomes a fast montage of strange and disturbing images – rioting, child clowns, people writhing around on fire, open-heart surgery.  The blindfold is removed and Cartman is asked if he saw anything unusual, to which he replied “No, just the same old crap I always see when I close my eyes.”

I like art that butchers reality, that completely skewers and rearranges all the beautiful things we see when our eyes are open.  I think good art should not be static: it should jar you, rip you out of your comfort zone and make you see life differently.

Meh.

02
Apr
12

To alcohol!

Drinking is fun, and so is photography.  Here’s what happens when you combine the two.  (Note: Special thanks to my Facebook friends, none of whom gave me permission to use their photos.  Please don’t sue.)




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