Posts Tagged ‘presidential election


The Presidential Race Gets Tasty

They say you have to spend money to make money. Well, sometimes you have to be an asshole to make money.

                                                                      AP Image

Which is exactly what Pizza Put is being accused of after pulling what many reporters are calling a “PR disaster” – the pizza chain offered audience members of yesterday’s presidential debate a free life-time supply of pizza if they asked the White House hopefuls whether they preferred pepperoni or sausage on their pies. Pizza Hut promptly ended the stunt and issued an apology after a media blitz accused the chain of making a mockery of the American democratic process.

But Pizza Hut inevitably won this exchange by having their name emblazoned upon headlines across the country. After all, any publicity is good publicity.

And Pizza Hut is not the only company to cash in on the upcoming election. Cheetos commissioned artist Jason Baalman to create a giant, stupid bust of each candidate’s head made entirely out of Cheetos. And 7-Eleven is asking customers to help predict the election’s outcome by buying soda cups with either Obama or Romney’s logo.

So, as an average dude, what the hell am I supposed to think these days? I’m completely lost here. When I watch Obama speak, am I supposed to approach his proposed budget with a critical eye towards what’s best at reducing the skyrocketing deficit, or should I envision his hairline is made entirely of succulent, cheese tinged Cheetos? Should I give more of a shit about Romney’s lack of a foreign policy or his personal preference for Pizza Hut toppings? Does our country have it’s priorities straightened out?

Answer: Probably not.

                                                           Jack Dempsey/AP

Why not make the presidential debates a hot dog eating contest sponsored by Nathan’s Famous, and just have the candidate who consumes the most franks be the winner? Or let’s have Pepsi sponsor one candidate and Coke the other, and have Budweiser host the debates. You know what, let’s just let food companies advertise everywhere they want. With as much as America loves to eat, maybe some of these ad dollars could help erase the federal deficit.


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